Rihanna may be known to carry around a glass of wine as if it were any ole accessory, but there’s no wine in sight at the beginning of her appearance on Late Night With Seth Meyers, in the enticingly titled episode “Seth and Rihanna Go Day Drinking.” Instead, seated on a plush couch at the Jane Hotel in New York City, they kick things off by taking shots—though only after Rihanna chastises Meyers for not looking her in the eyes when they cheers—followed up by chugging a pint of beer.
Before the video was released on Friday, Meyers, who’s also gone day drinking with Ina Garten, set expectations high by posting two Instagram photos about “the greatest moment of [his] life,” ("outside of marriage and kids"). Rihanna also Instagrammed a teaser of the episode, which she described as "starring 2 complete disasters”—an accurate summary indeed.
The real disaster zone, it soon transpires, is the bar at the Jane, where Meyers mixes Rihanna-inspired cocktails like Diamonds in the Rye, which includes a helping of Blue Diamond almond milk—much to Rihanna’s displeasure. “I don’t even like milk,” she tells Meyers. "This is scary." She's even more trepidatious when it comes to the next drink, We Found Veuve in a Hostess Place, going into caretaker mode by asking Meyers if he knows how to open a bottle of champagne. As it turns out, he does, but when he dumps a Twinkie into her glass, Rihanna opts to just drink straight from the bottle.
After sips of Bitch Better Have My Bunny—a decapitated chocolate Easter bunny filled with tequila—they embark on their first drinking game, with Meyers testing Rihanna on where she was at the time that she wore a variety of outfits captured by the paparazzi. She isn't so lucky with the red furry Saint Laurent heart she casually wore while "walking down the street," though somehow, she manages to remember that she wore ripped jeans—and blue lipstick—to the dentist.
Of course, the real highlights come at the end—starting with Rihanna's response to Meyers's question of how to blow his wife away with a romantic night out. "You said it," Rihanna—something of an expert on the subject, seeing as she's very much in love—says. "Blow your wife away."
To wrap things up, Meyers asks Rihanna to give him "a summer eye." Plenty would kill to get a Fenty Beauty makeover by none other than Rihanna herself, but Meyers—perhaps disheartened by Rihanna's remark "Whoa, Seth—you have wrinkles!"—eventually takes over, erasing her handiwork with blue eyeliner. Rihanna, unamused, informs him that he looks like he's from "Unicorn"—her guess for the title of that movie "with the blue people," aka Avatar.
Having sufficiently blessed a wasted Meyers with her presence, she then makes the only logical request: a shot for the road.